when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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