I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We need to get me chipped asap
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