I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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