Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
