matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
