You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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