The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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