fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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