I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
