my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize