How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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