I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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