i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
