How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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