You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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