i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
