Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
