Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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