After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
