I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
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It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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