I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
FUCK WHALES
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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