my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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