he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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