tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
