Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
