Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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