I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
