i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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