Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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