Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
