She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
