I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
