Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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