Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
