I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
