Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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