Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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