Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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