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Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
