it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize