you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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