dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
