you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
