In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
