3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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