I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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