no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
