I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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