I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
