Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
