Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
