Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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