chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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