Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize