we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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