he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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