well you can't waste a boner
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
