No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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