U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
God, I missed his penis.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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