I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
