Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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